Only One
by crashIn
Summary: Even if Chandler can finally decide who he wants, could it be too late? JoeyChandler, ChandlerMonica pairings. Starts off in The One With All the Kips 505.
1. Rousing Feelings

Only One 

-1- Rousing Feelings

When it comes down to it, there's only one person you really want, you really need.

My first Joey/Chandler slash. Starts out with CM, but definitely isn't by the end. Keeps pretty true to Friends scenarios and humor. Cleaned this up a bit as of 8/5/07  
R&R, please!

------------

They had planned it out perfectly. One weekend, Chandler was going to a business conference in New Jersey, while Monica was going to a culinary fair there. They even reserved an ocean-view suite. They could also stop making lame excuses to their friends. It was going to be the most romantic getaway. However, once they got there, everything started going wrong.

Monica's obsessive-compulsive side kicked in, and it seemed no room could match her cleanness standards. Not the room they booked. Or the one after that. Or that. Or...

Chandler, on the other hand, could have cared less. He really just wanted to watch the high-speed car chase on TV.

Monica wanted to switch rooms. Chandler wanted to watch TV. So they compromised and switched rooms 10 times. Monica finally found a satisfactory room, but the mood was ruined. Plus Chandler was still bitter he missed the car chase. An argument ensued.

"Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?"

"Hey, don't blame me for wigging tonight!" Monica retorted.

Chandler wasn't about to lose the fight. "Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?"

"We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?"

"I just want to watch a little television. What is the big deal? Jeez, relax Mom."

"WHAT did you say?"

"I said, 'Geez, relax Monnnnn.'"

--

They returned home very unhappily, barely on speaking terms.

Of course, their friends had no idea, and kept asking for details about their "trips".

Chandler retired to his apartment to drown his sorrows in some beer.

Late that night, Joey returned to find a very drunken and hysterical Chandler on the couch.

"Dude, something wrong?" he asked as he sat down and patted Chandler on the shoulder.

"Ohh, everything. The conference was a bust. I had a fight with... my co-worker."

"I'm sorry man. You wanna talk it out?"

"Nah, I'll be alright. It's just... It's just... I thought th-this co-worker was going to be the one relationship I got right, and I messed it up. Screwed up royally."

"You sure about that?"

"Our relationship is over as I know it. I can't believe it, but I might as well start trying to."

"I don't know if I should say this now, when you're all, you know. But it's just one goddamn co-worker. So you can't get along with one colleague. You only see them at work anyway. Sure it might be awkward at first, but it'll get better. And who's to say tomorrow there won't be someone new to bond with? You're charming enough. You'll find someone else." Joey was actually rather confused why a work relationship mattered to Chandler so much, but he still tried his best to comfort Chandler.

"Thanks. That helped." Chandler was smiling - a good sign.

"No problem. And, just so you know, I'm always here for you. Whatever problem you have, I'll try to help with. Just ask." Joey patted him on the shoulder at first, but embraced Chandler firmly after deciding it was more of a hugging moment.

"You're so great. I love you."

"Right back at ya." Joey pulled away from Chandler to see how he was doing.

"I mean it. I love you the most."

"Oh, well you know who I love the most?" Joey decided to humor his ultra-sentimental, ultra-drunk friend.

"No..."

"_You!_"

"Ohh... you don't get it."

Before Joey could ask exactly what he didn't get, Chandler passed out. Joey carried Chandler to his bedroom, and put him down gently on the bed. Joey undressed him down to his boxers and tucked him in. Seeing how disheveled Chandler's hair was from lying on the couch, Joey ran his fingers through it to straighten and smooth it out a bit. Deciding his work here was done, Joey got up to leave.

"Could you stay with me a bit?" Chandler sniffled. Joey jumped a little, not realizing when Chandler had awoken.

"Sure. Of course. Need anything?" Joey sat by him.

"Well, there is _something_ I want," Chandler slurred.

"Just name it."

"You." With that, Chandler moved to plant a kiss on Joey's lips that was a lot hotter and wetter than the one Joey had given him at New Year's.

Totally unprepared, Joey was too stunned to move for a few seconds. After coming to his senses, Joey pulled away.

"Whoa... How much did you have to drink?"

Chandler had very little tolerance for alcohol, so it didn't take much to get him drunk. But this time he drank even more than usual, and now all his inhibitions were all gone. even the ones he didn't know about before. "Come on. I know you want me back. What was that before, with the hair-tousling?"

A little embarassed his friend had noticed his rather intimate gesture, Joey blushed. "Well, ah, um, you know me... Big on the affection... Nothing really. My whole family does it... S-Some sort of Italian thing..."

Chandler had never found embarassment more attractive. "It's okay... It's okay... really... Just relax." He leaned in and kissed Joey again.

It wasn't just a passionate kiss. It woke a part of Joey that had been dormant until now. The part that liked the kiss. That part that liked Chandler more than just a best friend. The part that took control and parted Joey's lips to welcome a symphony of tongues.

Joey noticed that Chandler pulled away, with regret. His kissing was... addictive. Yes, that was the word for it.

"So..." Chandler breathed, sending tingles down Joey's neck.

Joey didn't understand these feelings. He didn't understand himself at all. Chandler had always been just a friend, nothing more. So where did these desires that were seeping through his entire body come from? Joey didn't think any further than that. Whatever the feelings were, they were there, and they felt amazing. That was enough.

Joey answered Chandler's question wordlessly. But he knew without a doubt Chandler preferred his assertive kiss over any other response. They were best friends. That's how he knew.

The rest of the night was a blur, a beautiful blur.

-----------

Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.

More chapters to come, but please R&R!


	2. Reality Dawns

The Only One 

-2- Reality Dawns

Some dreams stay dreams. Some dreams come true...

Sorry it took so long to update... Story, continued. Did some editing, 8/5/07.  
Still R&R please!

------

Chandler woke up first. As he rubbed his eyes drowsily, he contemplated the strange dream he had last night. He dreamed that everything was okay again, although he couldn't remember why.

Chandler felt awful. He had the worst hangover ever. He needed a shower, some coffee... Then he noticed a lump under the covers next to him. That's strange, he thought. I don't remember sleeping with anyone. _Brown hair... Did I make up with Monica? Wait. Monica's hair isn't that short. Then who...? Oh my god. Oh. My. God. It's a guy. Joey!_ _What happened last night? What could I have possibly done?_ A little voice in his head sneered, _It's really a question of _who_ could you have possibly done_. _Now isn't the time for jokes_, Chandler thought.

Chandler struggled to recall the events leading up to this. He only remembered a little. The empty cans of beer. Someone saying "I know you want me back." A kiss. No wait. There was more than one kiss. _Of course there was more than one kiss_, the stupid voice in his head said. _You slept with the guy. How could you have only kissed once?_

Chandler was about to argue with the obnoxious voice when the lump next to him started to move. Chandler panicked. He had to hide. He couldn't face Joey like this. He ran out of the room and jumped in the shower.

The cold water shocked his pores but didn't help at all when it came to unclouding Chandler's brain. Two questions loomed over him: What was he thinking? What will Monica think?

Chandler tried hard to rationalize. Really hard. _Ha, that's not the only thing that's really hard_, said that voice that got on his nerves. _Am I really that obnoxious?_ Chandler wondered.

As Chandler lathered himself up, he remembered an old argument he and Joey had over how clean soap was. "Think of the last place I wash and the first place you wash," Joey had said.

_Oh, Joe..._ Dirty images popped into Chandler's mind. Chandler soon realized he was very much aroused and stopped himself. _Gah, what if Joey walks in? Sees me rubbing myself in the shower and moaning his name?_

Another part of Chandler's brain thought differently. _What _if_ Joey walks in? Would he join me? Would we start washing each other?_ Well, here I go again... Chandler couldn't get the image out of his head though.

But he had to stop. Chandler had to face reality. He owed that to himself, to his best friend, to his girlfriend. But he didn't want to face what reality meant.

Was he gay? Did he still love Monica? Did he love Joey?

Chandler really didn't know, but his shower was far too long. He got out, more confused than ever.

On his way to his room to get clothes, he noticed Joey was already up. The smell of eggs wafted over to his nose. Joey heard him and glanced over. Chandler had a towel on, but he had never felt more self-conscious in front of his roommate. He walked briskly to his room and shut the door.

When he came out, he found that Joey hadn't started eating, which was unusual. His friend rarely liked to wait out his appetite, because his appetite always won.

"Y-You don't have to wait, you-you know." Chandler's voice kept cracking.

"Yeah, uh, I wasn't that hungry earlier. Let's eat."

The awkward tension between the normally amicable roommates was undeniable.

After taking a few bites, Chandler looked up at Joey nervously. He was too tempted to not bring up the subject.

"Um, I, I don't know h-how to ask this... er, what exactly, what happened... b-between us?"

"You mean y-you don't remember?"

"No, not, not really. I mean, uh, I figured, umm, you know, but I, uh... who, who, who started... y-you know?"

"Well, you."

Suddenly scenes from the night before flooded Chandler's mind. Chandler remembered saying he loved Joey, he remembered kissing Joey, and he remembered how they had gotten as close to actual sex as they could've. Chandler remembered emotions he didn't think he should have. Emotions that were stirred up all over again.

Chandler shifted slightly in his seat. _Not now_, he told his untimely erection. Right now he needed to figure out what to do and above all think straight. He couldn't help smirking at the ironic pun.

Unknowingly, Chandler was talking out loud. "What'd you say?" Joey asked, baffled.

"Uh n-nothing. Listen, I'm sorry. I-I had too much to drink and-"

Uh, it was nothing." Joey tried to smile, but it came out uncomfortably forced.

Chanlder studied Joey, searching for a sign in his eyes. "N-No, it wasn't nothing. It, it was, it was..." Chandler couldn't resist any longer. He leaned over and smashed his lips against Joey's. Chandler savored the taste Joey's soft albeit stunned mouth.

Joey got caught up in the moment, but then regained his senses enough to pull away. "Wh-what are you doing? Do you really think we should go there? I meammph-" Joey tried to protest, but Chandler cut him off with a deeper kiss.

Joey yielded to his desires and returned the kiss with frantic passion. The two roommates started to run their hands all over each other, appreciating their bodies like never before. They might have gone all the way again, if it wasn't for the phone.

Joey backed away from Chandler to answer, while Chandler just stood by, irritated at the interruption.

"Yeah, this is Joey... Oh my god. Estelle, I'm sorry. I completely forgot. L-look, I'll be there in 15 minutes, okay? Yep. Uh-huh. See you then." Joey hung up the phone and looked at the phone pensively.

"Hello? Can I get an explanation?" asked Chandler, channeling some of his impatience into Joey.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot I had an audition first thing this morning... I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll, I'll make it up to you, I swear." Joey gave Chandler an apologetic kiss and was out the door.

"Yeah, it better be REALLY good," Chandler muttered.

With Joey gone, the hazy lust cleared from Chandler's brain. He snapped out of his blissful ignorance. _If only there hadn't been that wake-up call_, he sighed. But one side of him said, _What if? Haven't you done enough wrong already?_

Chandler carefully thought it over. Joey or Monica. _Joey_. Or _Monica_. The idea of making a list came to mind, but then he remembered the disastrous effects that had for Ross. Chandler had to go with his gut. He'd pick Joey. He figured he'd come clean with Monica and break up with her. Then he'd tell Joey later, when the timing was right.

Meanwhile, Joey did some thinking of his own. He wasn't expecting all that to happen. He remembered the previous night clearly, but he had expected Chandler to go into denial. Joey figured that then his feelings might eventually go away, and they would be back to being just plain friends.

But that kiss... It just brought everything into perspective. Chandler wasn't just a one-night stand. Joey had only ever felt this way about one person: Kate. But she left his life a long time ago and broke his heart.

Now it was happening all over again. Chandler was making him vulnerable and uncertain. His usual ease and prowess had dissicipated. What's more, his feelings for Chandler were stronger than they had been for Kate. Joey didn't want to admit it, but he was falling in love. He was falling in love with his best friend.

But everything felt so natural, so good, like why hadn't they been doing this before? Maybe this time things would work out. Joey really hoped they could.

By the time Joey finished pondering, he was already at the set.

--

"Hey!" Chandler entered Monica and Rachel's room, a little nervous about what he was going to do.

"Hi." Monica sounded a little shy.

"I just came over to drop off...nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?"

"Yeah, it did."

There was an awkward silence before Chandler continued. "So, I guess this is over."

"What?"

"Well, y'know, you and me, it had to end sometime." He decided it was better to not mention the whole cheating with Joey part yet.

"Why, exactly?" Monica still didn't understand.

"Because of the weekend, w-we had a fight."

"Chandler, that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer than... Ohhh!" She seemed to finally comprehend. "You are so cute! It was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about."

Chandler didn't know how exactly to phrase his break-up. He still cared for Monica, so he didn't want to hurt her any more than he had to. But before he could try again, she leaned in.

Her lips were so warm and moist as she kissed him with a burning passion. Chandler found his hands in her sweet-smelling hair. She was so soft... She was a girl, after all.

After a hot and heavy make-out session, Monica pulled away. "So we're good?"

Chandler dumbly nodded.

She kept talking, "I have to go back to work. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later, if you know what I mean..." Monica gave her best smoldering look. It always left him dumbfounded. Her words echoed Joey's, but Chandler wasn't thinking so much about that anymore. Even as she walked out, Chandler couldn't get the goofy grin off his face.

It had to be at least five minutes when the turn of events truly sank in for Chandler. His smile faded. _Oh no, I was supposed to break up with you_, he futilely projected out the door.

_So much for that idea. God, why is this so complicated? Maybe I like Monica more. I guess I should end things with Joey then..._ Chandler dreaded what was he was about to do, but he couldn't think of a better alternative.

--

Joey had gotten home early from the audition. He put the roses he'd gotten for Chandler in an empty bottle he found lying around. Neither one of them was big on home decor, so there wasn't a single vase in the apartment. Joey then lit the candles he bought for Chandler.

As Joey waited in anticipation for his roommate to come back, a call came for Chandler. There was an eyelash curler left in the hotel room. _Weird_, Joey thought, _even for Chandler_. Joey would have to ask him about it later.

As soon as Chandler opened the door, Joey pulled him in and gave him an insistent and loving kiss. Chandler dwelled in the heat for a while, but as the kiss ended he regained some sense.

Chandler soon noticed the flowers and candles. "Wow. Look, you didn't have to... Anyway, uh, there's something I wanted to talk to you about. The thing, the thing, well, see, the thing is-"

Joey shut him up with another kiss. "Hush. I'm making up for this morning now. You can talk later."

"O-okay" was all Chandler managed to get out before a wave of desire swept away what was on his mind.

--

After a wonderful time in bed, Joey cuddled up next to Chandler. "So what were you gonna say?"

Chandler blinked. He had forgotten entirely about breaking up with Joey. And now, he didn't think he could. _How can I part with someone like that? Can I allow myself to live without having something so amazing again?_ "Oh, I don't remember anymore... I'll tell you if I think of it again."

"Okay. Hey, a call came for you today." Joey nuzzled Chandler's cheek.

"Hmm? Who was it?"

"Your hotel called. You left behind an eyelash curler on your business conference."

"An eyelash curler? Oh, oh, that's right. I did. Uh, thanks for the message."

"Um, Chandler, can I ask you a question?"

"S-sure. It's not like I have anything to hide." Chandler laughed his I'm-so-uncomfortable-but-I-should-be-laughing laugh usually reserved for work occasions.

"Why?"

"I, uh, I'm very self-conscious."

"About your lashes?"

"Yes, yes, I am. I think they should always look their best."

"Ookay. Just wondering, that's all." Chandler hadn't expected Monica to leave anything behind. He was glad he was off the hook so easily, thanks to some quick thinking on his part and some naive, too trusting qualities on Joey's. Joey planted a row of brief kisses between Chandler's shoulder blades. "I hate having to lie to the group, you know."

"But we're so not ready to tell!" On seeing Joey's expression, Chandler relented somewhat. "I mean, not yet... Let's just have a little more time to ourselves, okay?" He kissed Joey tenderly on the mouth.

"Yeah. Okay." Joey snuggled happily in Chandler's arms.

--

Chandler went on with both relationships. His lame work excuses slid by. Monica and Joey couldn't be more clueless. And Chandler got twice the amount of sex and affection. He could certainly get used to that.

The love triangle might have gone on for a long time, if it hadn't been for that fateful day a week later.

Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler were hanging out in Monica and Rachel's apartment like usual, when Monica came out of her room.

"Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler? I think I lost mine," Monica asked.

It took a few seconds, but Joey remembered the eyelash curler left in Chandler's room and put two and two together. "Oh! Ohh! Ohh!" he started to yell.

Chandler quickly realized and asked, "Joey, can I talk to you for a second?"

Joey, in shock, kept pointing at Chandler and babbling incoherently.

Without waiting for an actual answer, Chandler pushed him into Monica's room. Monica followed and shut the door behind them.

Chandler had given up covering Joey's mouth. "Yes. Yes," he admitted.

Joey couldn't believe it. "You?" he inquired, pointing to Chandler. "And-and you?" he questioned, turning to Monica.

"Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!" she confessed.

As the truth completely crushed Joey's heart, and he would just as soon leave, but he still had to ask two more questions. "How?! When?!"

Chandler reluctantly answered this one. "It happened in London. The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it."

"But it _is_ a big deal! I'm getting out of here!" Joey moved to leave the room, but Chandler and Monica both grabbed him.

"No, no! Come on. Please stay," Chandler pleaded. Chandler was determined to keep Joey here, as though as long as he stayed they could somehow work this out.

Oblivious to Joey and Chandler's situation, Monica was begging as well, for another reason. "Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell."

He looked at Monica's anxious face, and he knew she loved him too. A twinge of sympathy worked its way through his jealousy and anger. Joey played along, knowing that would be the only way she'd let him leave. "All right! Man, this is unbelievable."

"I know, it's great!" Monica exclaimed and started kissing Chandler.

"Aww, I don't want to see that!" Joey got out of the room quickly, trying to hide the hurt he was feeling.

--

Joey went back to the apartment absolutely devastated. Turned out Kate wasn't the only one who could crush him. He just didn't understand. Chandler had cheated on Monica? With him? While cheating on him with Monica? And he never told either one?

Joey couldn't help but wonder who Chandler thought was better. Minutes ago, Joey had felt special. He thought he was the only one for Chandler. Now he was being squeezed out, squeezed out by a girl, by _Monica_, his good friend, for crying out loud.

Chandler entered minutes later. "Hey."

"Great. The last person I want to see." Joey got up to go to his room, but Chandler stood in the way and tried to wrap his arm around Joey.

"Don't even try! You can't just kiss me and think you're gonna make it all go away, okay? It doesn't work that way. It doesn't just make it better. Okay?" Joey stepped away from Chandler.

"Look, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. But we can't just give up. Stay. I wanna talk about this."

"Okay. All right! How is she?"

"What?"

"Is she good? Come on, Chandler! You said you wanted to talk about it, let's talk about it! How was she?"

"She's... she, she's different."

Joey scoffed. This line of questioning was more than he thought he could handle. His mind just kept rewinding to Monica and Chandler's kiss. A long time later, he changed the subject. "She's that co-worker you were complaining about, isn't she?"

"Yeah, it didn't go as planned, and we had a huge fight and-"

"And you cheated on her behind her back but made up with her all the same. I know _that_ part."

Chandler started to defend himself, but he realized it wouldn't make things better.

"And to have to hear about it from _her_..." Joey cleared his throat before changing the subject again. "She doesn't know, does she?"

Chandler guiltily shook his head.

"Why did you do it? Why did you keep doing it? Did we not deserve the truth? How _could _you?"

"I, I don't know." Chandler couldn't look Joey in the eye, instead focusing at the fascinating seams of his shoes. A few seconds later he added, "I was totally over the line."

Joey nearly exploded. "Over the line?! When you kissed Kathy, you couldn't even see the line. It was a dot to you! Now, now you-you're so far past the line, the line has stopped existing. Now it's a nonline!"

Chandler winced. "Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!" Chandler looked miserable, and Joey's heart melted a little with those puppy dog eyes, but he caught himself.

Joey was on the brink of tears. "No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever. God, and now I just can't stop picturing you with her, I can't. It doesn't matter what you say, or what you do, Chan. It's just changed, everything. Forever."

Joey paused to recompose himself before continuing, "I, I can't be here right now. I should go."

"What?"

"I really need to leave now."

"Yeah, but this can't be it, I mean..."

"Then how come it is?" Joey moved Chandler out of the way and left their apartment.

Chandler shouted, "Wait!" but only the chick and duck responded. They waddled their way over, chirping and quacking. Chandler sunk to his knees. He was trying so hard not to cry. Then he remembered something. He had a date with Monica to "do laundry" that afternoon.

He shakily stood up and walked across the hall. Rachel and Phoebe had left. He almost wish they hadn't.

"So Joey's still in shock over us. I think we'll have a guys' night, if you don't mind..." There he was lying. Again. It came too naturally. Chandler felt a pang of guilt.

"Of course not, honey. We can do it a different time. I mean, this is Joey we're talking about, right?"

"Yeah." It came out as a hushed whisper. Monica had no idea how true that was. But enough brooding. "So, I'll be going back..."

"See ya."

Chandler trudged back. Still no Joey. Chandler took a seat at the kitchen counter. The dancing candlelight seemed to mock him. Some anniversary He blew the candles out.

Chandler was going to drink, but he decided against it. _Remember what alcohol can do_, he reminded himself.

Chandler stayed up the whole night, waiting. Joey never came back.

_Probably with some girl..._ Chandler started to think. He just as soon started rebuking himself. _He's not. He really, really likes you. How can you accuse him of that, when you're the one who cheated on him and then lied about it?_ Chandler sighed. He had really blown it.

--------------

I wish you weren't the only one...

I was gonna add more explicit descriptions, but I've decided it's the emotions that really matter in this piece, at least for now.

Next up: I think I'll have a shocking letter and decision. R&R to keep it going! Suggestions always welcome...


	3. Getting By

-3- Getting By

You should be happy  
Now you're on your own  
I could be happy,  
I could be happy, someday

Not entirely happy with this, but here it is anyways. FYI, I didn't abandon this or anything... just been busy.

Continued from before, with some major realignments.  
Reviews please, as always!

----------

Sometime in the early morning, Chandler fell asleep. It wasn't until 8:30 that he woke up, still groggy. Joey hadn't been back. He reluctantly showered and went to work. Chandler wondered if he looked every bit a wreck as he felt.

The seconds felt extraordinarily agonizing on this day. Chandler's mind drifted off as his boss rambled on about the problems with his WENUS.

After eternity had passed twice, it felt like, the day was finally over. Chandler scrambled home, not even noticing the old lady he ran into who began protesting.

Joey wasn't waiting for him in the living room. Chandler decided to check in Joey's room. He found it empty. Completely empty, save for a note on the floor.

Chandler,  
You have to choose. Did you really think you could keep stringing us along? Well, I'll make your choice easy. We both know it'd be her anyhow...  
I still can't forgive you for what you did, but I hope someday we might still be friends like old times...  
I'm going to LA for a while. I took the noon flight. I should work on my acting career, and I think I'll have a better shot there. Don't think I'll be back to visit too soon. I already broken the news to the gang.  
I don't know what else to write... -B-u-t--I'-l-l--m-i-s-s--y-o-u.- Love her well.

Joey

[the hyphens are supposed to mean it's crossed out, but the strike tags don't work... and the end brackets don't either, apparently

It took Chandler a long time to grasp what those few lines meant. He kept staring at the line "We both know it'd be her anyhow," as if after the fifth reread it would suddenly turn into "If you pick me now I'll come back." _Who would he pick anyway?_ Chandler honestly didn't know.

For the time being, he just crumpled up the note and stuffed it in his pocket. He shouldn't live in the past. He needed to move on. He should love her, like Joey said.

Being the overkeen person that she is, Monica noticed something was amiss. Numerous times as they were getting romantic, she would ask him if he was still hung up over his argument with Joey. (Chandler told her they had fought over the whole secret-keeping before Joey left, which was only a half-lie.) And each time she would explain, "What? Something's on your mind. You're not yourself..." after Chandler gave her a look.

Even the gang noted that he didn't crack as many jokes as usual.

The truth was, Chandler missed Joey. He hated the way Joey had left things between them. He wondered if Joey was thinking of him too.

For a time Chandler had some sex dreams about Joey. He would wake up hot and sweaty to disappointingly find himself with Monica.

But Chandler learned to change. He learned to repress all feelings he had for Joey or divert them into his clandestine romps with Monica. _I have to_, Chandler convinced himself. _What else can I do? Hurt someone else?_

Chandler got better at lying. Granted, he had lots of opportunities to practice. He even started believing his own lies.

--

About two weeks later, a phone started ringing when the gang was sitting around in Central Perk.

Excited, she exclaimed, "Yay! No one ever calls me."

Phoebe started saying, "Uh-huh. Yeah. This is her." Naturally curious, everyone leaned in and tried to hear who it was. "Joey!" Chandler felt his heart stop. As Monica squeezed his hand, he flinched. "Haha, more like how _you_ doin'? Cool. I'm good. Yeah, they're here. Let me put you on speaker phone... Everyone say hi to Joey."

"HI, JOEY!"  
"HEY! JOE!"

"Hey everyone. I just wanted to let you guys know I'm okay. I just found a nice studio, and I'm getting settled in. I had a ton of auditions so I didn't get a chance to call any earlier. I missed you guys a lot."

Rachel chimed in, "Oh, we miss you too, hun."

Chandler hesitantly added, "Joe? Can we talk? Off speaker phone?" He held his breath for the reply that could change everything.

----------

Goodbye my lover  
Goodbye my friend  
You have been the one  
You have been the one for me  
I'm so hollow, baby  
I'm so hollow...


	4. Not a Chance?

-4- Not a Chance?

Thank you for all your reviews. Feedback is always appreciated, be it positive or negative.

Don't hang up on me  
Cause I'm hung up on you

----------

"I CAN'T - KKKK - HEAR YOU," Joey shouted.

A bittersweet smile came to Chandler's face. "I know you're making the static noises, Joe."

"TZZ - BAD RECEPTION HERE - CHH - I'M GONNA GO!"

"NO, PLEASE DON'T-" Click. "-hang up. Are you still there?" Dial tone. Chandler sighed, sliding the phone on the coffee table in resignation. He knew he didn't deserve any patience from Joey, but he just had to... do what exactly? Explain? Beg forgiveness? Try to win Joey back? Chandler didn't really know. He just needed to talk to Joey.

He realized four pairs of eyes were staring at him expectantly. "Uh, sorry, I don't really feel like talking about it. I just need some time alone. See ya later." Chandler meant to smile reassuringly, but it came out like the awkward teeth-baring expression that he usually adopted in photographs. He avoided their worried gazes, especially Monica's, and shuffled his way home.

Chandler did want someone to talk to, but none of them would understand: not his secret girlfriend, not her two best friends, not her brother who'd pull some "kar-a-tay" move on him. And he had caused enough hurt already.

"That is just awful," Rachel commented after he left. "Anyone know what happened between them?"

Monica was still looking distractly at the door. "He didn't say a word to me. Maybe I better go check on him."

Phoebe shook her head. "He won't say much. Chandler's aura has been closed off for weeks. I better do a tea leaf reading." She took Chandler's abandoned mug of tea and stared at the leaves stuck at the bottom. She started muttering to herself and consulting a small book she produced from her bag. "Aha! I knew it!" The others crowded around the prophetical cup.

"Um, Pheebs, I think it's just a clump of wet tea leaves," Ross deadpanned. Phoebe rolled her eyes, looking to the girls for backing.

Both girls shrugged. "He does kinda have a point, hun," Rachel conceded.

"Oh, you mortals can't tell. It's an vase, meaning he has a secret admirer and-"

"No, that's impossible, I can tell you for a fact that _I_ have noth-," Monica interjected without thinking before hastily catching herself. "That, that _I_ have nooo idea about his secret admirer. Heh. But uh, this is Chandler we're talking about. Who'd like him, right? Hahaha." Her three friends looked at her oddly but didn't say anything.

"No, it's causing his problems with Joey alright, I'm su- Hey, wait, it's not a vase!" Monica sighed in relief her verbal indiscretion went missed and the topic of Chandler's love life was off the table. "It's a moldy booger! Hey, that's not in here... Oh well. I don't know either."

Ross chuckled. "May I suggest the scientific, logical approach to follow?" He had everyone's attention. "Okay, now all we have to do..."

--

"CHANDLER M. BING! GET THAT CIGARETTE OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!"

Chandler jumped up from the baracalounger at Phoebe's voice. The gang looked at him menacingly. "Ahh, okay, okay..." He took another long drag before reluctantly putting it out. At least he went over a week without getting caught. Nicotine proved to be the only thing that could somewhat take his mind off his guilt and angst.

"Now turn that frown upside down, man are you gonna love this!" Everyone grinned.

Chandler couldn't think of anything other than smoking that could improve his mood.

"It was my idea," Ross gloated gleefully.

_Oh joy_, Chandler thought sarcastically. _Now I_ know _it'd be great._ He had a reaction of pleasant surprise ready as Rachel produced an envelope. But as things turned out, he didn't even need it.

"OH, MY, GOD!" He looked incredulously at the plane ticket inside. "I'm going to LA?" Four nodding heads confirmed the fact. "I'm going to LA! Wow, this is perfect! Thank you guys!"

"Ohoho, enjoy, you Cheshire cat you! We know how much you've been missing your Joey." Rachel slapped lightly him on the shoulder. Chandler silently entertained the question of whether if Joey would still be his Joey.

Phoebe interrupted his daze. "Here." She jotted an street name and number out of her address book and gave it to him. "That's where his agency is, I bet you could get a hold of him there." She pinched his cheek.

Chandler couldn't stop still grinning like an idiot. "Thanks, I mean... what do I owe you guys?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. We all chipped in," Ross explained. "My idea too," he added, shaking Chandler's hand in their macho way.

Monica agreed. "Yeah, just think of it as an early birthday present."

"My birthday was a month ago," Chandler corrected.

"Oh. Well then, just work things out. There's nothing you can't figure out face-to-face," Monica replied. She kissed him briefly on the lips. Chandler froze. Monica quickly pulled away, realizing what she was doing.

Rachel already caught on. She pointed at them in accusing shock. "I get it! That's why earlier you- I get it!"

Monica wrung her hands, blushing furiously. "Well, uh, sorry we didn't tell you guys earlier." She looked toward Chandler for support, but he hadn't moved since she kissed him. "So I guess you know now..."

Phoebe reacted seconds later. "Oh, this is great! My psychic totally said either two of my friends would get together or there would be a big UFO sighting in Central Park!"

Ross blinked rapidly. "Wow, gee, just wow." Monica looked nervous. Chandler still didn't move. "My little sister and my best friend!" He hugged the pair, before letting go. "You hurt her and I'll kick your ass," he gravely warned Chandler. "But man, this is wonderful!" He hugged them again, giggling.

"Ooh, group hug time!" Phoebe chimed in.

Chandler felt smothered as his friends swarmed around him. He was numbly aware of Monica's gushing about their relationship, interspersed with choruses of "aww." He tried to focus on the one relieving fact that he would see Joey soon.

----------

I'll take what I can and run...

Review, please!!


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